love

sisters!=)

Tears.

Oh my..today i went to the dentist,it was painful.my dad pick me up.my enzytee attack me..my body was shaking.my hands,even the colour of my nails turns to dark purple..haven't been attack like that since my last operation.i feel so weak.arrive home,went to my room,i saw my sister packing her stuffs because my family is going to perak but not me.i have an appointment with the dentist early in the morning.then my mom call me.i show to her the bleeding after i pull a teeth out,then suddenly she ask me what did i shop yesterday.i told her i buy some shirts and a pair of heels.then she ask me did i buy a new jeans so i said yes.and she said the jeans is expensive right?i was speechless.how did she know.then i realise that my sister told her.i was upset with my sister for telling my mom.my mom said,u can shop but please manage yourself.don't waste your money just on a branded jeans.so yeah i was lecture by her.she also said that I'm a mess.i didn't help her with cleaning the house and she said that my room is like a "rumah tumpangan".yeah i know that my room is a mess because i just move out from my apartment and i haven't manage to clean things up yet.i was planning to do it today.but i was hurt by her words.so i went to my room with teary eyes.i went to my sister and said that,"fun yeah to talk to mom like that??"than she said "what?,i did what to you and what did i said to mom until you cry??"i ask her "why do you even have to tell mom about me buying the jeans??now she thinks that I've lied to her.she lectures me and said that I'm a mess,i haven't been nice to you and always fight with you.am i that bad??"i start to cry in the bathroom but my sister was at the door looking at me crying and she starts to cry too.i said to her that i feel betrayed by her and i said that "i never do that to you.i even pick your boyfriend and join us to Sunway Pyramid yesterday.i can just tell mom but did i??no right.i always buy what ever mom never buys you and I'm not saying that i want you to pay me back its just that you are my only sister i have in this world so i want you to feel happy and not experience what i have been experiencing at your age.i didn't get what i want at your age so i want you to have it.you have seen how hard i save my money just to by my needs so i want to spend my money for you to buy your needs.i want you to have the freedom that i didn't get.does that makes me a bad sister to you??or it is not enough for you?"gosh i cry even harder.i was so sad.my sister cry even more harder than me.she feels sorry for me.she said"i didn't mean to tell mom but i was just jealous of you.you always get to buy what you want.you always have a lot of money.its just that the jeans is tooo expensive for you to buy.i don't want you to waste your money.after what you said,its true.you always buy me stuffs that i want and i think you were the one who spend more on me rather than mom.all my shoes are from you.you know i need shoes so you always buy me shoes.even my school beg its you who bought it.yeah,I've realise that i always use your stuffs.you never get mad at me if i want to borrow your stuffs and you were the one that said if i want to borrow or need anything just take yours.you always offer me if i want to buy anything if we go out.now i feel bad.i shouldn't have done that to you.I'm sorry.akak,ayush mintak maaf sgt2.ayush yang xpandai nk hargai ape yg akak dah buat utk ayush.ayush salah.sorry".after my sister said that i couldn't take it i cry even more.for a moment we just cry.it was a very touching moment for us.we never talk from heart to heart.i promise myself to be a better sister to her.i want her to feel that i will always be there for her.i want to change myself for her.i don't mind to spend all my money for her.she's the only sister i have in this world.i love her with all my heart.she also promise to be a nicer little sister to me.she said that she likes to clean my room so that i won't feel stress after studying at college all day.she wants me to be happy.she said that she can only help me with that since she can't do what I've done for her all this while.I'm glad that we had that conversation.i ask her to wash her face because she needs to get ready for going to Perak with my family.i help her to wear her scarf.gosh I'm crying now.its just that i love her so much.I'm happy now.=)