annoyed!

huh..hell yeah I'm annoyed with his attitude.i hate it when he tease me around like I'm a little kid.I'm talking about my brother.the thing is he likes to judge people.in a negative way.and i hate it.he doesn't even know those people so please stop judging people. doesn't mean if they have been staying in overseas and come back to Malaysia are those who are arrogant. yes they will not be as talkative as local people because they haven't adapt to the surroundings yet,it take times you know.always lecture me by saying that I'm not serious in my study and a total lazy girl.hey if I'm not serious in my study i will skip classes and stop going to college and just hang out the whole time but the thing is i am being very serious in my study.i go to classes,never skip my pop quiz or test,after coming back from college i will study and do my own notes so that it will be easy for me to study during exams.you said you never see me study.totally true.want to know the reason?yeah the reason is I'm staying outside, I'm staying in an apartment in subang jaya and how the hell am i suppose to show you every time i study?think logically can't you?gosh.and you always say that on weekends i always come back home in bangi and always have fun with my friends.hey,I'm not a robot okay.i need time to have fun and relax too.what?i can't come back to my own house is it?I've been studying during the weekdays so yeah i need some rest and i miss my family.who doesn't right?damn think dude.all this time you lecture me not to come back home oftenly at weekends but wait you always pick up your girlfriend from her house in shah alam and bring her back to her house in bandar seri putra every weekend.EVERY WEEKEND!not fair right?see,i told yah..about my study,true my result went down a bit but i tried my very best.VERY BEST!i will study until i forgot to take my meals and get gastric.i was sick badly and even people can see it,i lost 7kg okay.just because of gastric.see how bad it is?with all that pain that i have to suffer you still say that i didn't study and just play around with my friends.always go out and do nothing?huh.speechless.hmm,what about you my lovely brother??wait didn't you change university because you were kicked out?huh.when i ask why,you just simply laugh and say you were not serious and just play and hang out with your friends?you think that I'm like you?please look at yourself before you lecture me.please i beg you.can you be more matured?you are 26 this year and about to get marry.change your attitude about people.don't make me hate you.you are the oldess in our family so please show good examples for your brothers and sisters to follow.please stop make me cry because of stressness.I appreciate it a lot brother.

Dream.

Last night I got a weird yet still give me the butterfly feeling in my stomach.hahahaha.i know i know, its just a dream but hey, its my dream right. i can be happy about it. Okay my dream was about me having a boyfriend!!hahahahahahaha...so funny. I don't know where i was in the dream but its like in college or something but the weirdest thing is that Hanis is in my class that time. In that dream I was late to class so when i entered the class there is an empty space beside Hanis but on the other side was this guy, a good looking one. That's the only place to sit so yeah i have no choice. I sit there and just ignore that guy. Suddenly i talk to him and ask question. We talk like we have been knowing each other for quite some time. Hanis was surprise, she ask me do i know him and i said no. so why are you talking to him? Good question Hanis. In real lives, I tend to be 'manja' with boys, i mean my voice and act are different, i don't do it on purpose its just that it happen without me knowing it until my friends told me. so yeah in the dream i was being 'manja' also to him. But it was natural. The guy also treat me very 'manja-ly'. After a while the guy said he likes me since he first saw me.hhahahaha. my face turn red okay.like weird okay. well yeah he became my boyfriend. so fast the progress right, well that's how dreams are. The guy is really cute. I like the way he treat me. the way he treat me is like I'm his only girl forever. awwww..so cute..I know haha..Usually when I have a boyfriend I will act very shy and control myself but not in my dream though.Its like i known him so long.its weird okay. Basically that's my dream. when i woke up, I feel happy and weird. Its not that I'm desperate for a boyfriend and yeah I've been single for 9months already but I'm fine with it. totally fine. i hope my dream will come true though. I want a guy like that.=)

Sensitive.

I'm a really sensitive girl if you want to know. really am one. i hate being isolated or left out even a bit. i don't know why but thats just me. when i help people i do it sincerely. i just want to be someone who are importent to them. i want people to treat me like i'm the only one, i know its too over to want something like that but i love it. sometimes i like people to treat me as i'm younger than them and sometime i like it when people come to me for advice,during that time i feel that i'm precious to them. i have feelings too. when i've done something i just want people to say thank you.is it hard to do? i'm in a sensitive mood right now.no more gorky dorky mood inside me.i...i..argghh..i've been receiving a lot of stress right now.

love

sisters!=)

Tears.

Oh my..today i went to the dentist,it was painful.my dad pick me up.my enzytee attack me..my body was shaking.my hands,even the colour of my nails turns to dark purple..haven't been attack like that since my last operation.i feel so weak.arrive home,went to my room,i saw my sister packing her stuffs because my family is going to perak but not me.i have an appointment with the dentist early in the morning.then my mom call me.i show to her the bleeding after i pull a teeth out,then suddenly she ask me what did i shop yesterday.i told her i buy some shirts and a pair of heels.then she ask me did i buy a new jeans so i said yes.and she said the jeans is expensive right?i was speechless.how did she know.then i realise that my sister told her.i was upset with my sister for telling my mom.my mom said,u can shop but please manage yourself.don't waste your money just on a branded jeans.so yeah i was lecture by her.she also said that I'm a mess.i didn't help her with cleaning the house and she said that my room is like a "rumah tumpangan".yeah i know that my room is a mess because i just move out from my apartment and i haven't manage to clean things up yet.i was planning to do it today.but i was hurt by her words.so i went to my room with teary eyes.i went to my sister and said that,"fun yeah to talk to mom like that??"than she said "what?,i did what to you and what did i said to mom until you cry??"i ask her "why do you even have to tell mom about me buying the jeans??now she thinks that I've lied to her.she lectures me and said that I'm a mess,i haven't been nice to you and always fight with you.am i that bad??"i start to cry in the bathroom but my sister was at the door looking at me crying and she starts to cry too.i said to her that i feel betrayed by her and i said that "i never do that to you.i even pick your boyfriend and join us to Sunway Pyramid yesterday.i can just tell mom but did i??no right.i always buy what ever mom never buys you and I'm not saying that i want you to pay me back its just that you are my only sister i have in this world so i want you to feel happy and not experience what i have been experiencing at your age.i didn't get what i want at your age so i want you to have it.you have seen how hard i save my money just to by my needs so i want to spend my money for you to buy your needs.i want you to have the freedom that i didn't get.does that makes me a bad sister to you??or it is not enough for you?"gosh i cry even harder.i was so sad.my sister cry even more harder than me.she feels sorry for me.she said"i didn't mean to tell mom but i was just jealous of you.you always get to buy what you want.you always have a lot of money.its just that the jeans is tooo expensive for you to buy.i don't want you to waste your money.after what you said,its true.you always buy me stuffs that i want and i think you were the one who spend more on me rather than mom.all my shoes are from you.you know i need shoes so you always buy me shoes.even my school beg its you who bought it.yeah,I've realise that i always use your stuffs.you never get mad at me if i want to borrow your stuffs and you were the one that said if i want to borrow or need anything just take yours.you always offer me if i want to buy anything if we go out.now i feel bad.i shouldn't have done that to you.I'm sorry.akak,ayush mintak maaf sgt2.ayush yang xpandai nk hargai ape yg akak dah buat utk ayush.ayush salah.sorry".after my sister said that i couldn't take it i cry even more.for a moment we just cry.it was a very touching moment for us.we never talk from heart to heart.i promise myself to be a better sister to her.i want her to feel that i will always be there for her.i want to change myself for her.i don't mind to spend all my money for her.she's the only sister i have in this world.i love her with all my heart.she also promise to be a nicer little sister to me.she said that she likes to clean my room so that i won't feel stress after studying at college all day.she wants me to be happy.she said that she can only help me with that since she can't do what I've done for her all this while.I'm glad that we had that conversation.i ask her to wash her face because she needs to get ready for going to Perak with my family.i help her to wear her scarf.gosh I'm crying now.its just that i love her so much.I'm happy now.=)

Keep It Low.

I just want to know,is it wrong to be humble and keep things low?no right?i mean it's something natural for some people for not to brag about everything to everyone and just enjoy it.i can't understand some people who like to show off about every single thing she/he have or happen to others.it's not like only them have or experience it,everybody does.not like only them are rich,can buy branded stuffs,go for holidays to foreign countries,have a huge house and all.i mean,even other people who are more than you have been in that spot already.so why need to brag those to people.you just make them laugh and feel pity for you.another thing is copycat.do you have to do it openly,i mean like obviously.i know that you want to wear or have the things that people have but can you do it own your own style and way.for example,you saw someone wearing a new branded bag,new heels,new dress or even new style of makeup,not that you can't have all of those,just don't suddenly wear it the next day,people will now and notice it.wait for a week or two.let that person wear it until she/he change it then u can do it.simple right.or just be yourself,don't ever try to follow others style that will not suits you.being humble is a good attitude right.i love people who like to keep things low and just be humble.what is it about to brag things to people when others are much better than you.just be humble OK.it's not hard to do and if you practice it since you are young eventually it will be with you forever.just keep that attitude and people will love you more.believe me.let me give an example,there is this two girls,girlA and girlB.GirlA like to brag to people about every things and talk bad things about every people that she meets.anything that she does she wants attractions from others.this girl likes to win in every single thing she does or talks.compare to girlB,she likes to make friends with others and respect people.even if she have new things she bought or happen to her she just keep it low and if others praise her about things she have or she do,this girl will just be very humble to others.she knows the limits and just enjoy her life.the result is girlB will be love and cared by others compared to girlA.girlA have been isolated by others and less people hang out with her.see the differences?simple right?=)

Indonesian??

Haha yeah..OK I'll tell the story about me that have to do with this Indonesian thing.My first class with my new subject which is Tourism Destination and Dr. Angel is teaching my class.I thought that he's a Malay but then he's from Philippine.then we were told to introduce ourselves.I volunteer myself and yeah i tell him my name and where i am from.i said that I'm a local and he was surprise.for me yeah nothing special so the following week i have class with him again.he brief to us about our group assignment and we have to pick a country that is shown on the screen and i quickly choose Indonesia.because Indonesia is a country that have a lot of interesting things to be presented and we have to bring that countries food some more.i raise my hand and yell out the country that i want and Dr. Angel said to me that "u cannot choose your own country".i was like what??then i say "no sir,I'm not from Indonesia,I'm local".he say"no,don't lie to me.i know that u are from Indonesia and u are an Indonesian".i talk back to him"sir believe me that I'm a Malaysian.I'm local.I'm not lying".then he said"yeah OK then"(but his face shows that he don't believe me).hahahahahahahahahha.....even my classmates were surprise by what just happened in front of them.my group members was laughing.after his class i went to the toilet and check myself in the mirror to see if i look like an Indonesian.hahahahaha...damn funny lah weh..after lunch,i text my Indonesian friend,Sella and ask her do i look like an Indonesian and not look like Malay or what,"Sella,do i look like an Indonesian and not Malay?"she replied,"hahahaha,why?but yeah u don't look like a Malay".i ask my classmates who are not local and ask them when they first saw me,do i look like local or i don't look like a Malay?and they said that yeah,they first thought that I'm not a local because i don't look like a Malay.they said that my skin is different from local's skins.hahahahahahha...this is my first time.this thing keep bothering my mind and i ask a lot of people about it.hahaha.i told my mother about it and she say,"lah penat2 aku lahirkn ank pompuan aku nih berubah jadi ank indon dah??'.hahahahahahaha..very funny.so now every time any Indonesian passes by me i will say,"hey,orang kampung I tu".hahahaha.overall,this is the story about me as an Indonesian.but do i look like one?very curious.=)